Life's a Binge (And Then You Diet)

I am cursed (or perhaps blessed, depending on your viewpoint) with an almost total deficiency of willpower when it comes to food. Specifically, the kind of food that is bad for me (well, not just me - pretty much anyone, I guess). I am  not addicted to greasy high-fat butter fests - addicted is not the right word. I am just ninety per cent unable to think straight when presented with eggs & bacon, fish and chips or Eton Mess. Not when it's right there in front of me. The YUM response blots out all thoughts about weight loss, counting calories and all those Men's Health articles I've read about Eat This Not That!

My other problem is, I'm a fast eater. Always have been. I seem to have no problem just wolfing it down. Even when I pace myself and deliberately try to eat slower, I still finish before everyone else. It all started back when I was a kid. I could not stand for my once-hot food to get cold. Especially veggies. Nothing worse than cold cabbage or brussels sprouts or carrots. Therefore food doesn't even have time to hit my stomach and send its 'full' message up to my brain before I'm on my second bit of pie.

That's another issue. I am not just hooked on the lard-laden foods. I love all kinds of food. In mass quantities. And I am a sneaky eater. I'll go to the kitchen for a coffee, and snack on whatever while I'm in there. I know this and yet there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Pshaw!! you say. There must be something you can do about it. Well, at least I recognise that I have a problem. that's usually the first step, isn't it? But don't expect me to exercise. I need to drop at least a couple more stone before I would even dream of hitting the gym. You will not see me in Zumba class anytime soon. P90X is just some foreign code to me. Any sort of organised exercise class looks to me like something I would hate. Just like religion, I am not going to do it in front of others. I might Tae Bo in my living room when there are no children, dogs or other adults within a ten-block radius. But Tai Chi in the park with a bunch of STRANGERS?? No, thank you very much. I am embarrassed by my flabby gut enough on my own, let alone share my disfigurement in public.

And of course, this is all compounded by the fact that I developed a habit of comfort-eating in the States, where misery is around every corner, and two failed marriages will have you pounding down the Super Nachos before you can say I Can't Believe It's Not Fake Butter, especially when one of those marriages is practically alcohol-free. So the slightest little upset will see me reaching for that cookie or slice of cake and before you know it we're back to square one again. I can start every day with good intentions - get up and have a nice healthy high-fibre brekky, but by the time lunch rolls around I'm snacking like a good'un.

If that wasn't enough, I have worked for the past few years in the food industry, where tasty tidbits are always available. Even now I work in a shop where we give out free samples of our cakes and flapjacks and puddings and curries daily. So getting out of the chow business would probably be a plus.

And then, there's this blog. I write a food blog because aside from being a snack-hound, I am a foodie, I love to experience new and different foods and I love to tell you about them so that you may try them for yourselves. So from now on, I shall endeavour in my travels to tell you not only about yummy food, but healthy food also. Because  a porky Jeff is a grumpy Jeff, and a slimmer Jeff is what is in store for 2011. And you can hold me to that.